Make sticking to your goals easier

You’ve probably heard this before, a much simplified version of how our brains work - for much of human history we’ve needed to be on guard for things that could kill us, so our brains are primed to react to the new/unknown/potentially dangerous. The routines we live by reward our brains in predictable ways and our brains like it that way. Being constantly aware takes a lot of energy and evolutionarily it was just hard to support that. In the modern world, these tendencies don’t always work in our favour, but we can use cues and reminders to help ourselves along the way.

Here's how: Be bought in to your ‘Why’

We hear stories about people who achieve intense goals – going from heart attack survivor to ultra-marathoner, quitting smoking, giving up drinking, etc. – and they attribute their success to their kids or a health scare that triggered them to change. What they are talking about is having a strong reason to stick with the change, even when it is hard, or you are triggered and want to fall back on old habits.

Since waiting for a major health scare to get our lives in order is not a strong long-term strategy, here are two ways that I have seen defining and focusing on your *why* show up in the sober community. I think both approaches apply to other types of change:

1) Capture your starting point:

• Big changes take time. You will forget what you were like when you started this process. Have a reminder – Social post? Bathroom selfie? Voice memo? Journal entry? Whatever works. This isn’t to shame yourself. This is so when you’re three weeks into a new workout regimen, or on your seventeenth networking call, and you have a setback or are just tired – you’ll have something to serve as a reminder of why you’ve started in the first place.

• For sobriety, this shows up as writing about your worst hangover, 3 A.M. insomnia and anxiety, or that horrid thing you said to your friend when plastered, so you don’t forget why you’ve quit drinking.

2) Keep it top of mind:

• It is often recommended that you make your goals obvious in your home – keeping the book you want to ready by the TV remote, laying out workout kit, keeping your walking shows by the door, etc. These are great ways to cue yourself to keep going. Interrupting the other habits you have and reminding you of your commitment.
  

• You can take that one step farther. With bigger life changes (*whatever that means to you) it’s likely that the change you’re making is or will impact the rest of your life. What are those impacts? Will a career change bring more financial security and allow you to pay off student loans? Will your daily walks lead to trekking the Salkantay Trek to Machi Picchu? Create a reminder – if it’s an alert on your phone, a picture of a scenic overlook, or a countdown clock – whatever cue works for you.
  

• To keep myself grounded in my ‘why’ for sobriety, I’ve built out a vision board to remind me what I want my life to look like and what I have gained from sobriety. Every day I still show up and do the work, but I can see reminders of things to which I can look forward. Visualizing this positive future state and really building out what it will look and feels like gives you something tangible to work toward and a reminder of where you’re headed.

Change sticks when you are inspired by what you’re trying to achieve. When we are bought in to the reasons for the change, you keep showing up to do the work.

Even with a strong why, it is totally possible - and very human - to have setbacks. If you’re working at a new habit and have a setback, know that the new habit you were forming and new pathways in your brain aren’t lost. You can get back up and keep going. Mel Robbins has a great podcast on the ‘F*ck it moments’ – when you’re working on a new thing, hit a trigger and decide to flip a table. Give it a listen.

Getting people unstuck on their way to their goals is also something I discuss with clients all the time in coaching. If you’d like to see how I can help you, set up a Chemistry Chat.