#16 Not all the job search work is visible - lessons from a recent client conversation

I recently had a wrap-up conversation with a client - someone whose search took longer and went in more directions than he expected. He landed a role he’s excited about, and while I’m over the moon for that win, the real story (I think) is in what the process taught him.

His search wasn’t straightforward - there was clarity work, networking, timing, and a lot of figuring out what actually felt right.

Here’s what he shared:

1. “I had to put my own oxygen mask on first.”

He’d been operating on empty for a long time. A big part of his journey was refocusing on himself and the things he actually enjoys.

His confidence didn’t magically appear with the offer — it started coming back when he finally made himself a priority again.

2. Structure helped more than “trying harder.”

Motivation and panic can be pretty close bedfellows. What helped him most wasn’t trying harder, it was creating a structure for his search. Even on days with zero motivation, he still knew how he wanted to use his time.

Channeling his energy through that structure gave him progress and helped him avoid panic.

3. Networking is the job.

He talked to dozens of people - hiring managers, peers, recruiters. Some were great; some disappointing; some just not a fit.​

Instead of tallying good vs. bad conversations, he paid attention to what those interactions taught him: how he wanted to show up, what he wanted next, and the kind of leader he wants to be going forward.

4. Confidence comes from doing the reps.

Prep → Attempt → Rejection → Reflect → Repeat.

Not glamorous, but incredibly effective.

He kept filling his opportunity funnel - conversations, applications, follow-ups - and every rep made the next one easier.

The stories got crisper. The direction got clearer. And the confidence was real because he’d earned it through action, not hope.

5. The search changed him.

He genuinely believes his best professional years are ahead of him - and he’s bringing the internal work of this search with him. He doesn’t want to go back to “all work, all childcare, nothing else.”​

He wants to keep writing, keep learning, and keep being visible in a way that feels like him - not just for the job search, but for his growth as a leader.

Why I’m sharing this

I’m not sharing this as a “5-step framework to land your next role.”

I’m sharing it because this conversation was a good reminder that a lot of the work that actually moves a job search forward isn’t the stuff anyone else can see.

Some of it is in the obvious reps - the interviews, outreach, applications, and prep.​

But a lot of it happens in the quieter moments: taking care of yourself, resetting expectations, noticing what drains or energizes you, deciding what kind of work and life you want next.

If you feel stuck, check two things: your strategy and your energy.

Usually the answer sits somewhere between the two.